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He put His finger on my soul
And called me by a different name Then welcomed me home Because, He said, I believed. He told me His Son Jesus Would call me sister mine And a member of His temple I would be. Of myself I was not For to Him I belonged Because, He said, I believed. He created me from Love And shed Blood to set me free Then gave me Heaven Because I believed. What must I do, I asked my Father To live my life with You To show the world that forever I am Yours? What works should I work Or miracles perform So that those who see me Are seeing You? Child, He began, when will you understand The love that you give I gave to you. In my house you’ll help your sister And lend what your brother needs. Whoever calls I promise You will be there. Don’t you know when I welcomed you You took on all I AM That before you asked you received? I do not need your reasons To give My gifts to you I gave because you believed.
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You see me.
That's what makes it so easy This falling for you. You look into what makes me ugly And call me beautiful. You laugh at just the right time Because you find me amusing. You enjoy me. My attitude, my bossiness, My tough side, my sexiness. You look at me and smile As if everything you see All that I appear to be All that I am Is all right with you. You look at me Past my fortress strong outside To my soft-for-you center. You ease past all my barriers With just a sweet smile Because you look at me And you see ME A woman of worth And honor and beauty And humor and sensuality. You see me Past my anger at you Past my quick-tempered words Until you look at me And say just the right words To make my mad at you Turn into a hunger for your voice, Your smile, your touch. You look at me And you see ME And the way you see me Makes me feel as if Finally I've met someone Who accepts The less than perfect But always striving Daring woman, hopeful child That makes me, ME. he got me. Again
talkin smooth words and sweet nothins whisperin bout all what makes him different. He be a real man Commitment-bound, forever-sound In the type of love he like to give. He lookin for a woman Just. Like. Me. Independent. Outspoken. Confident. Cause I'm past-written But future-defined. Oh wait and I mustn't forget Can I get a ring size, he says And I, foolishly, let my heart trip Just a little. Yeah, I got all caught up in thinking Is he the one? Please, God, let him be the one. Oh, he was the one all right, Lyin bastard. He turn out to be Just. Like. Them. Men who made—I'd never—promises. I'd never leave you, hurt you, Be like the rest. I'd never promises filled with nothin but lies Singin songs like Why women act like all men the same Cause see, I'm different, he says. Yeah, he mighta walked in different But his ass looked real familiar when he left. I'll admit. he got me. Real. Good. Reminding me that even the smartest woman Can be played a fool. Again. when I tole dat man, I'se pregnant
he run so fast, he fly he say, he wudn't comin' back tole me good luck and good-bye so then I says Betty, what should I do? that so-called friend uh mine says Johnny done been here too. White man say,
Boy, the worlds a-changing we got blacks in white schools we got black men serving justice black women changing rules. On the bus, you sit in the front go to the counter for your chow you can even share our sidewalk why, things're much better now. We've stopped raping black women for our pleasure and our sport. We even shake your hand and let you testify in court. We took you out of cotton fields gave you decent work to do. We even let you vote for us to rule America for you. We gave you money, gave you homes even fed your family. We done right by you, boy We treat you properly. We ruled against the lynchings even protected you from fools who sought to beat and batter you for simply going to school. We financed your poets and heard the black men play even heard the ladies sing and listened to you pray. All these things we did for you and you talk of blacks in jail; you call it white conspiracy against the dying black male. You tell me that on TV all you see is blacks on drugs blacks with guns, committing crimes and lying in their blood. You talk about your people being arrested for being black all because the land was white on the other side of the tracks. You go on about watchful eyes that follow you in the store, wonder about your money source then eye you out the door. You like to blame the white man only looking at the bad but he gave you freedom, rights, your life he gave you all you have. What say you boy now that you know what the white man gave you should be glad he took you from that savage African cave. The black boy sat and thought awhile about now, being free and said, all these you say you gave but who took them from me? Everytime I see him,
I think of Hershey’s and hot chocolate velvet and satin softness sweet, gentle laughter and light lingering kisses. I think of sweet shit like the sound of gentle rain, the crackling of the fireplace and lovers holding hands in the dark talking low over a little Teddy Pendergrass. Everytime I see him, I think about doodling hearts and x’s and o’s and writing some type of love poem about romance and passion and bells ringing in chapel halls. I think of holding him and being held inside his need and the desire to touch his skin with my skin is because I want to be him be a part of him feel him be every part of me cause he got me writing romance novels and Hallmark movie endings and happily ever always every damn time I see him. It's like . . .
My spirit knew you And your voice was a song—lyric smooth Tasha-style Writing me familiar And signing me taken By you even before a thought of you was born. It's like . . . I'm made over in the image of us And what we will become Was expressed in heaven-like and home-at-last words Making me believe that happiness Is a deeper, wider feeling spreading like ocean inside me. It's like . . . I breathe on thoughts of you And on you I can lean, in you I can become The woman, the lover The better half I knew I could always be And for once I know satisfaction. It's like . . . I'm finally saying I'm here A little heart-beaten, and a tad-bit teary-eyed But special delivered to you In the right place, at the right time Cause you were always my destination. And even as I thought God had forgotten me He was simply shaping you to make me complete And building me so that one day I will say It's like . . . My spirit knew you and the rest of me fell in love. Write like your life depends on it!
Write like it’s a scream for help, A last supper, the only salvation in the midst of the deadliest sins. Write like a slave in the race for freedom, like a drowning woman in search of a helping hand. Write like you really, really mean it! Like not writing is the same as taking a final breath, like a dying patient in search of the last possible cure. Write like your dreams depend—no survive-- because of your ability to write a hope, poem a wish, story the most beautiful imagination. Write as if in writing is a miracle, a life saved, a dream undeferred. So write like you mean it, like your life depends on it, like in not writing the eulogy for your funeral has begun. So sista, brotha Write on! Write on! Write on! Father
they told me to come to you with my hopes and fears to look to you to guide me and carry me through the years. if I need someone to talk to You would always be there for only You could lift me up and wear the burdens that I bear. Father they told me how easy it could be when once I give my life to You for You'd give peace to me. And so it was I waited but You never came and then I said they lied and on them I placed the blame. I said I didn't need You but still I asked, appalled "Father, why didn't You come?" You said, "Child, you never called." I thought it was you
Until he filled your silences and came to me with all I desired attached to his ability to make me laugh. I hoped it was you until he appeared, Looking like the secret prayer I whispered to God Even when I doubted God listened. I thought you'd fill me, Taking me to that place Where love comes with a strength That makes all others disappear, Setting every thought to a tune That played your name. But then I heard his voice And my soul knew him and he wasn't you. I had dreams of you And wrote our names inside a heart Smiling in the knowledge That the answer lied in you. Until I realized the wrong question had been spoken, And the right answer had not yet arrived Until he called me forth And resurrected my girlhood dream. I thought it was you Until he touched my mind And opened a pathway to my heart Reminding me not to settle for earth When heaven was on its way. He gathered me to him And spoke to me with words so like But deeper than your own. He reached inside me and spoke with my tongue Letting me know that as close as you had come To who is me As near as you seemed to all I desired I am his just as he is mine. And you, even in your beauty and kindness, Just Are not him. Because he is the one Who mates with my soul. |
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June 2018
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